Heart screams for another thing

It is 5:30 in the morning
She gets off from the jeepney
No one is around
Everything is still dark
except for the light posts
She walks in the silence of the dawn
She hears only her footsteps
She now sees few people walking
in the direction of the building
where she is going
She just keeps on walking
while looking into that
long pavement
Five more minutes before
she arrives into the office

A memory flashes in her mind
She was still studying
She was full of excitement, hopes,
and dreams
Now, she is walking alone
going to her workplace
All the excitement, expectations, and
hopes fade away
All of those thoughts she had
for her future flew and run away
This is reality

She starts to question her existence
The energy she is supposed to have
left her already just
before she starts the day
Her brain tells her legs, just keep on going

“I lost my identity”
She is just another human being
paid to do a job
stuck in a routine,
eight hours a day,
six days a week
“I’m still breathing,
I’m still alive”
This, she keeps on telling herself
but, it’s as if she fell
into a dark, deep hole
trying her best to survive,
climb up, and reach that
open and wide space
where she can breathe and be free
where she can be alive
where the excitement, hopes,
and dreams are restored

Moving closer to the entrance,
she is about to enter again
this structure, a box, with a group
of people following orders and will
be doing the same thing over and
over again for the rest of their lives
Her spirit wants to break free, but
for now, it needs to abide and be tamed

Her bones lost its vigor
The strength of her body is like
that of a sick person
Her mind accumulated high levels of
anxiety and stress
Her face has become a wilted rose
Her soul has become a fallen dry leaf
but, her heart is still dreaming..
A voice inside her is still dreaming
“I have to fight for this dream”
The voice says, “Expect a mediocre life
if you will do nothing about your dreams
and continue living within the norm”

There is no other time, but now
You are meant for greater things
Go and follow your heart

and so after few days,
she made a decision
It’s now or never
She gave the letter
She didn’t prolong the agony
it was a resignation letter

© Sarah Jane Amparo

Her Dream

She is scurrying along
the wide corridor of the mall
looking straight ahead when
she turns her head a little
on the left, her legs
suddenly lumbers
She catches sight of
series of books on display
She paused, moves forward, and
place her hands on
the mirror of the bookstore
She stands there with
tears on her eyes and
whispered,
“I just want to write.
That is my dream.”

© Sarah Jane Amparo

Your Inner Child Is Saying Hi

There are jobs and activities that exhaust us and there are those that flourish our soul. We know we want something when upon the completion of work, it satisfies us in a way that it didn’t make us tired inside. We take pleasure of the result and while doing this thing, it makes us alive. It becomes the most natural thing to do for us because that is who we are and what we are designed to be. It springs out from our inner being and its potential radiates around us. When your passion meets the world, it becomes a fuel for change that touches the way people live, inspires the heart, and move people’s lives around you to the next level. We seek inner expression of ourselves to come out and reveal itself. When people continue to suppress this, it drains and dries us. We become like a fallen dry leaf shifting through the winds. And the next day you wake up, life now becomes a routine as if nothing is special and your sense of wonder of the things around you starts to become blurred. You become neutral in living your life and now trapped in living the mediocre life when you know deep inside yourself you can do so much more and enjoy a vibrant life. The common marks are weariness creeps into your bones, mind becomes jaded, body ended up worn out, and expression of distaste is often present that comes in many forms. Those who don’t recognize this leaves them feeling miserable then loathes the race they are in. Some turns out to be belittling others or consuming their energy generating harsh or destructive criticisms born out of envy and jealousy to those who they see shining in their chosen path and able to demonstrate their essential nature to the world. When uncontrolled, the person evolves similar to that of a monster who will keep on destroying and do everything to bring his/her target down.

Do not bury what you have always wanted to do. You may discover it early or a bit late, but when the time has come, take hold of it. Listen to your heart. What does it want to produce, to do, or to become? Your inner child is saying hi. Perhaps, you have been meaning to write a song, poem or stories, to travel and visit various places, to learn to play the guitar, piano, or any musical instruments and create some music, to sing and dance, to build a garden and grow different plants or vegetables, to raise a farm, to take care of stray animals, to draw and paint, to cook delicious foods or make new recipes, to put up a business or you are in love of taking pictures and creating videos, teaching kids, serving the public, defending the poor and the oppressed, designing clothes, houses or buildings, researching, gathering news, acting, running, cycling, and so much more. If you can’t pursue it right away, at least do it piece by piece. Just do not completely abandon your desires. Just like a little flower, do not step on it. Shower and take care of it. Let it grow and shine. A flower does not also rival with other flowers because every flower possesses its own beauty and it just blooms. Let your dreams come alive and not let them end up on the ground. Break those shackles and walls that stops you from doing it. Time will run its course and better be friends with it. We all have that one thing we want to do for the rest of our lives.

© Sarah Jane Amparo

** Featured image used was made by artist Erikuri